Everybody who has gotten married or those who are preparing for a wedding knows the real deal about all the toxicity that goes behind months of planning for a one-day event.
It may be fun to shop around for suppliers for catering, flowers, entertainment, and other stuff that the bride and groom want for their special day, but there are times that things get toxic, too. Arguments about the wedding venue, the number of guests, which online video production service company to get for prenup and on-the-day video coverage, what the menu will be on the day of the wedding, and all the other small details are all inevitable.
Most of the time, engaged couples put too much time and attention into wedding preparations that they fail to reinforce their relationship in preparation for marriage itself. While a wedding is one of the most important and most glorious milestones in a person’s life, preparing for marriage should not take a back seat to wedding preps.
We have listed a few ways to help engaged couples make their relationship stronger to help them build a stronger foundation for marriage.
1. Be mentored by some seasoned couples.
While each relationship is a journey that is best discovered together as a couple, it never hurts to get guidance and input from other couples that have had a bit of a headstart. The wisdom and knowledge they gained throughout the years that they have been together will prove to be a valuable resource for engaged couples as they get started on their own journey.
2. Give each other some space to grow individually.
The commitment to be together and stay together no matter what is one of the things that can make a marriage succeed. However, couples should also recognize that as much as they should grow together as a couple, they also need to develop and mature as individuals. This can only be brought about by allowing each other to have some time apart. Each of them should still maintain their friendships and other meaningful lifelong relationships.
3. Talk about money and financial concerns.
One of the things main things that married couples always argue about — and one of the top reasons for divorce — is finances. Early on in the engagement, couples should find time to sit down and discuss financial matters and how they will manage their money as a couple. They need to establish the proper money boundaries in light of spending a lifetime together.
4. Take time to be with each other’s families and get to know them.
When you marry someone, you’re also marrying their families. It comes with the package. You can’t just choose to marry someone and have nothing to do with their family. It doesn’t work that way. Early on in the relationship, couples should agree to find the time to get to know each other’s families and spend meaningful time with them. This is very helpful in dealing with in-law-related concerns.
5. Grow spiritually together.
Marriage isn’t just the union of two minds and bodies. It is also a union of two spirits. Thus taking care of each other’s spiritual growth is one of the best things couples can do for each other. It shows that they care about the other person’s mind, body, and soul. Regardless of belief and faith system, nurture each other’s spiritual growth.
6. Look for hobbies and other interests to enjoy together.
There will come a time when the romance in a couple’s relationship will fade. That is why it is important for both of them to make meaningful connections in other aspects of their relationships. One of these is in the area of hobbies and interests. Although both of them may have their own set of hobbies and past times, they must find a common passion that they can pursue together and enjoy each other’s company even if there’s no romance involved.
7. Clearly define what your core values will be as a couple and, if applicable, as a family.
Everyone has different values that are formed by their unique family backgrounds, personalities, temperaments, and beliefs. When two people decide to come together and consider spending a lifetime with each other, they should take the time to discuss which values they will hold on to and espouse as they grow old together. These values will be one of the foundations that they will build their family on so this should not be neglected nor taken lightly.
As important as preparing for the wedding day is, getting yourselves ready for a lifetime of commitment to each other is more important. Never compromise the rest of your lives with just a one-day event. You owe each other more than that.